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The best beer names of 2016

We’ve moved way beyond hop puns, folks.
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Kent Falls Brewing Co.

Kent Falls Brewing Co.

It seems like every year we see a new bundle of articles with worried authors wondering whether brewers have officially run out of beer names. (Here’s one from the Wall Street Journal back in July, for example, and another from NPR a year earlier.) But while a few brewers have certainly battled over trademark disputes in 2016, the folks branding the beers are for the most part just as creative and hilarious as ever. Here, in no particular order, are our favorite names for beers we enjoyed this year.

Walking Away In Slow Motion While The Car Explodes Behind You
Kent Falls Brewing Co.

A moniker as long, funky and badass as that deserves an equally funky and badass flavor; Kent Falls delivers by combining mango and lime zest inside an “imperial gose” (it’s 7% ABV), then dry-hopping the concoction with fruity Nelson Sauvin hops.

Barbarian Streisand
Cellarmaker Brewing Co.

For any beer-lover who remembers the havoc Mecha-Streisand wrought upon South Park, Colorado, the concept of a barbarian version of Babs should be absolutely terrifying. This American pale ale derives bitterness from Cascade and Sterling hops and a powerful tropical/melony aroma from Riwaka, Amarillo and Citra. It premiered at Cellarmaker’s San Francisco taproom in December.

I Dunkeled In My Pants
Figueroa Mountain Brewing
Buellton, California-based Fig Mountain debuted this classic Munich dunkel in 2015, but it really earned its name this year, grabbing gold at both the Great American Beer Festival and World Beer Cup.

Trump Hands
Cannonball Creek Brewing Co.

The president-elect inspired several beers in 2016, but this session IPA from Golden, Colorado, is the most accomplished, having nabbed gold in its category at this year’s GABF.

Pathological Lager
Dock Street Brewing Co.

Another Trump-themed brew, this “lager” is actually a saison with lemons (“You want a lager? I’ll give you a lager. No one brews lagers as well as I do,”) and is part of Dock Street’s “Friends Don’t Let Friends Vote Drumpf” series that also included gems like Short-Fingered Stout and Drumple IPA.

Sex in a Canoe
Noble Rey Brewing Co.

A play on the old joke (How is drinking [insert macro lager here] like having sex in a canoe? They’re both fking close to water!), Dallas-based Noble Rey premiered their crafty take on an American light lager in January.

Basil Better Have My Honey
Low Tide Brewing

Basil better have my honey!
Y’all should know me well enough
Basil better have my honey!
Please don’t call me on my bluff
Pour me what you owe me
Ballin’ bigger than LeBron
Basil, give me your honey
Who y’all think y’all frontin’ on?
Like glug, glug, glug.

Rare Bourbon County Brand Stout
Goose Island Brewing Co.

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

 

Author
Zach Fowle is DRAFT's beer editor. Reach him at zach@draftmag.com.

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