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Read this, not that

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Men’s Health has released a list of the “Best and Worst Beers in America,” as rated by Eat This, Not That.

I have several issues with this article, starting with how I’d reverse their definitions of “best” and “worst.” And the fact that they left out most of the best “worst” beers out there.

Also, no one actually talks like this when considering drinking Killian’s Irish Red: “Thinking of chugging a sixer of this stuff? To that we say the same as the horse on the label: Nay.”

But my biggest problem is how much it quibbles with as little as 50 calories. That’s basically a half mile of running.

“When in doubt, here’s your order,” it says of the 96 calorie Miller Lite. But for 156-calorie Pilsner Urquell it warns “it’s simply still too high in calories to regularly reach for more than one.”

Really? If more than one pilsner is not OK, the Drink This, Not That gods would sure disapprove of the Leinenkugel Big Eddy Russian Imperial Stout with tacos and Bell’s Cherry Stout with Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups I really, really enjoyed tonight.

Lately I’ve been averaging 75-80+ mile weeks of biking to work and running every day. I think I’ve earned the luxury of not obsessing over a hundred calories here or there. That’s what it means to be a beer runner.

So take my advice and read this, not that. Drink this and that.

 

Author
Tim Cigelske is DRAFT's Beer Runner. (Beer Run•ner [noun]: Someone equally devoted to fine beer appreciation and an active, healthy lifestyle. Ex. "John downed four microbrews at the triathlon finish line. He's a total beer runner.”) Follow Tim on Twitter @TheBeerRunner, and email him at beerrunner [at] draftmag.com.

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15 Comments

  • Rich Isaacs says:

    That was just about the stupidest article I’ve ever read. Why not just name it “We’ve listed beers in caloric order.”

  • Mike says:

    What a strange list. I’m not a heavy drinker (1-2 beers 3-4 times a week), so I don’t even consider calories when drinking beer. Only about a quarter of the list is drinkable.

  • @thealerunner says:

    What an awful “list.” There are only a handful on this list worth drinking. The rest are tasteless swill. Run. Drink good beer. Be happy. And healthy.

  • Nic says:

    That’s an article? Nice assumption that everyone treats a 6 pack as a “single serving”. Like they said in one of the photos, drink “quality over quantity” and you’ll be much happier.

  • HoustonBeerMan says:

    What’s the point of drinking a watery, tasteless beer? Miller Lite is triple hopped. That means they used three hop cones last year to brew a bazillion barrels of beer. I’ll save the 300 calorie difference between 3 Miller Lites and 3 great IPAs by staying away from the chips.

  • Chicksthatdigbeer.com says:

    As a female who often looks to cut calories here and there, I am offended by the list. No real beer drinker opposes a good beer due to calories. You make concessions elsewhere! Next they will be saying “drink 3 miller lights for every one delicious porter” Ugh, I would rather drink water than a Miller light. Gross.

  • Jeff Goodby says:

    Seriously, why would I look at Men’s Health to pick my beers? Drinking a lot of beer gives you a beer belly. Shocking. I also know that switching to low-cal crap isn’t really drinking beer. Dumb article, waste of time.

  • @beerchicks says:

    Gross, real beer drinkers do not check the calories.

  • Adam L. says:

    I agree with Rich. It’s more of a “if you want to drink a lot of beers, here are the beers that you can drink more of and get the same amount of calories as fewer good beers. Also you don’t really like beer”.

    Yikes.

  • EdA says:

    Ok, I think I just lost 10points off my IQ after putting myself through that drivel.

    Do you think it would be easy to find someone who actually knows beer, and considers the caloric count vs. actual substance of the beer..ie: real beer?

    I work out 5days a week hitting the the big the 50 and trust me, it’s worth the exercise and healthy eating to enjoy real Craft beer excellence. Including all of my own which fill up my 4-tap Keggerator.

  • Tim Nichols says:

    I’m willing to bet that most “lite” beer drinkers could cut one junk food meal a week, and put those calories to better use for some decent beer.

  • Schlomo Shanahan says:

    anyone purporting to be an expert or connoisseur who then recommends Miller Lite as anything but good fertilizer for your vegetables is 1. an ignorant fool or 2. a Miller/Coors salesman

  • Macphergus says:

    Who cares about calories? It’s all about hops and barley delivering flavor in a buzz inducing quaff. If you want to watch your weight, drink Diet Coke.

  • Mike String says:

    Who gives a crap about calories? Not real craft brew drinkers… I have a list-
    Racer 5
    Bell’s 2 Hearted Ale
    Dogfish Head 90min. IPA
    Delirium Tremens… that’s a list..a good start.. haha Hop Heads are not a calorie counting crew..duh

  • John Donkey says:

    I have a drink that can beat MGD 64 their “#1” drink; tap water! Not only does it contain 64 fewer calories, it has a superior mouthfeel and cleaner aftertaste! Or you could just opt for quality over quantity and trade six of those MGD 64s for one Bigfoot Barleywine (and consume about one of those MGD’s worth of calories less in the process!)

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