If beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy (as sayeth Ben Franklin), then hangovers are proof that the Big Man Upstairs still hasn’t forgotten about that whole Eden business. But could there be a path to the light, a life of freewheeling beer indulgence without consequent head pounding and dry heaving? An increasing number of nutrient-rich products have graced my desk with claims of safe, effective hangover prevention. Here’s a quick round-up.
Slogan: The Hangover Defense
Use: Drink (shot-style) one bottle before your first drink and one bottle after your last drink.
Notable: This formula was developed by a pharmacist, and emulates the IV drips used for less fortunate imbibers who end up in the ER with alcohol poisoning.
Slogan: What to Drink, When You Drink
Use: Drink while you’re drinking, drink as your last drink of the night and drink the morning after. It is recommended to drink one ResQWater for every 3 to 4 drinks.
Notable: Prickly pear cactus fruit extract reduces swelling, so it should help keep those pounding headaches at bay. Plus, you can use ResQWater as a mixer!
Happy Hour Vitamins
Slogan: You Owe It To Yourself
Use: Take three capsules with water as your daily multivitamin. On days you drink, take the dose later in the day, even after you start drinking. If you drink heavily, take another serving with water before bed.
Notable: In addition to boatloads of vitamins, these pills have milk thistle and artichoke extract that’s said to aid in long-term liver health.
Bonus! The Modish Pint Cure
Slogan: I Will Eat You Alive, Hangover!
Use: Eat one (1) or two (2) late-night Chihuahua-sized breakfast burritos loaded with pulled pork, eggs, cheese, rice and beans, slathered in green chili sauce with chorizo.
Notable: So yummy.
We gotta ask: What’s your best H.O. cure (slogan optional)?