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Thrive in the zombie apocalypse

CATEGORIES: Beer Editor   Beer Runner  

Photo by rodolpho.reis on Flickr

You don’t want to be average. You’re comfortable being different. You always welcome a challenge.

So your goal isn’t to just survive the coming zombie apocalypse. You want to thrive in the coming zombie apocalypse.

Fortunately, your beer runner training has prepared you for this dark moment in human history.

Most obviously, you’ll be able to outrun any zombie attack. But being a beer runner isn’t just about being fast, so speed isn’t the only factor. You’ll just have to be quick enough to stay ahead of a pack of loping zombies.

But you’ve learned consistency and balance and endurance. So you can outlast a sustained zombie pursuit for miles and miles, even if it’s for a 50K trail run.

Furthermore, you’ll be prepared to run even if it’s not optimal conditions, like after a night out drinking when you may feel like a zombie yourself. You can’t predict a zombie sneak attack, but luckily you have experience running hungover or even after a few or four beers.

And speaking of beer, you’re going to need something to do when you’ve easily outrun all the zombies. The food and beer from an abandoned house should be easy pickings, maybe with a six pack of Posthumous Pale Ale or Resident Ev-Ale.

So eat, drink and be merry. You’ve earned it. At least for another day.


Tim Cigelske is DRAFT's Beer Runner. (Beer Run•ner [noun]: Someone equally devoted to fine beer appreciation and an active, healthy lifestyle. Ex. "John downed four microbrews at the triathlon finish line. He's a total beer runner.”) Follow Tim on Twitter @TheBeerRunner, and email him at beerrunner [at] draftmag.com.


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